there's no weeping in my ears
by The Crownless Queen
Summary: "It's not worth it, Mary dear. Sure, the world looks a little nicer when your soulmate's around, but that doesn't actually make your life any less shitty." Well, this time Mary's mother might just be wrong.


Written for Hogwarts' Romance Awareness Challenge, Day Twenty-Seven: Hot/Cold game, colours get brighter around their soulmates. And also because I fell in love with this pairing.

 _Word count:_ 1215

 **there's no weeping in my ears**

To be entirely honest, Mary had always thought that the whole 'colors get brighter around your soulmate' thing was bullshit. After all, her parents were (supposedly) soulmates, and yet that hadn't stopped her father from cheating on his wife, nor her mother from having vicious and often bloody fights with her husband.

"It's not worth it, Mary dear," her mother had slurred at her on more than one occasion, breath wet with alcohol. "Sure, the world looks a little nicer when they're around, but that doesn't actually make your life any less shitty."

And well, when you heard that as often as she had, it really was only a matter of time before some part of you started to believe it. Before you started convincing yourself that it wouldn't be worth it, that the way Lily's hair seemed to glow afire whenever they sat next to one another was just a trick of the light.

Of course, because the world is cruel like that, that doesn't stop her from falling in love with Lily. But she can't help it. There's just something about Lily that makes her heart beat faster and makes her say or do stupid things; though thankfully nothing as bad as what Potter or Snape have done.

Boys, really. They're not very smart.

And Mary hates the way they keep breaking her friend's heart, even if seeing Lily incensed by their behavior is always a treat she feels guilty for enjoying.

"I can't believe the _nerve_ of that, that, argh!" Lily rages as she storms inside their dormitory.

"'Arrogant toerag'?" Mary suggests with a smirk, peeking over her book to take in the sight of her best friend. Lily's chest is heaving, and her hands are clenched in tight fists that show white knuckles. Were Potter here, Mary would bet he wouldn't keep standing for long - and that's only if Lily doesn't remember she's a witch first and that she knows some pretty nasty curses.

"Ugh, that's way too kind for him," Lily growls. Her face is blotched red in anger, her freckles standing out on her skin, but to Mary's eyes she's rarely been more beautiful.

Merlin, Mary wants to kiss her. She wants to push her body against Lily's and see who yields first (if anyone does), wants to bite her lips and soothe away the pain, wants to leave marks all over that skin to tell the world that Mary was there, that she saw this wonder first and that now all they can do is watch from afar.

"Are you listening to me?"

Lily's voice drags her out of her musing and Mary blushes violently, knocking her book off her knees where it was resting and onto the bed, where it slides to the ground along with her plaid.

"Ah, sorry? I got lost in thought," Mary replies sheepishly.

Lily rolls her eyes, but somehow that seems to calm her down some. She sighs and sits on Mary's bed, legs crossed right in front of her so that their knees are less than an inch away from touching.

"He told me I was his soulmate," she says disgustedly, head drooping low, red hair cascading in front of her face until Mary can barely see her eyes. "Can you believe it?" Lily laughs, rubbing at her arms nervously.

"He said the world was always more colorful when he was around me," she continues, but Mary's not hearing her anymore. Her head is filled with white noise.

She's angry, she realizes, mind detached from her body. No, not angry. Anger's not a strong enough word for what she's feeling right now. Rage, perhaps, fits better.

"But he's not your soulmate," Mary hears herself say. State? Beg? Merlin, she can't tell what she's feeling right now, or why she's reacting so strongly.

She doesn't like soulmates, thinks nothing good of them. Why should it matter that Lily and Potter might be 'made for each other'.

"Of course not," Lily scoffs, and Mary feels like she can breath again. She laughs, a little too broken and fake, and Lily frowns. "Of course not," Lily continues, waving her hand through the air like the very notion of her with James Potter is absurd. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Mary replies automatically. "I just…" _I'm your soulmate_. The words are on the tip of her tongue somehow, about to be said, and Mary's not sure how or why they ended up there. This isn't her. She doesn't want some predestined _fate_ to determine who she should be with. She doesn't want a _soulmate_ , she just wants Lily.

When Mary blinks again, trying to clear her suddenly blurry vision, she finds herself staring straight into Lily's green eyes. They shine like emeralds, like the most precious of stones, and her friend is smiling, the curve of her lips impossibly soft.

Somehow, while Mary was fighting off a panic attack, Lily leaned in closer. She's still leaning in closer, Lily's fingers gently wiping away the frustrated tears Mary hadn't been able to hold back.

"Hey," she says, in a voice so soft it's almost a whisper. Their breaths are mingling now, and Mary's torn between staring at these moving lips and being lost on those emerald eyes.

"Hey," Lily repeats. "It's fine. I know."

Mary frowns, confused. In her chest, her heart skips a beat. It feels like her blood has frozen in her veins. She shivers and licks her lips, all too aware of the way Lily's eyes are tracking the movement.

"You do?" Mary finally managed to say, voice croaked.

"Yeah," Lily smiles. "I mean, it's pretty obvious. And you're definitely not as good at hiding the fact that you like me as you think you are." At Mary's shocked silence, she draws back a little, frowning. "You do like me, right?" Her eyes no longer shine as bright, and Mary just wants to drag her back in, pull her in closer.

So she does.

Lily's lips against her own are nothing like what she imagined. They're soft and there's nothing of the raging fire Mary's always imagined, though the passion is there, bubbling warm just beneath the surface.

Lily moans into her mouth - or maybe it's Mary, or both of them, it's not like Mary can really think right now - and the kiss grows deeper.

When they pull back, gasping for air, there's something heart-wrenching about it. It's only the knowledge that they'll get to do this again that allows Mary to pull herself together.

"I do, er, like you. That is. I mean," Mary stutters, heart thundering in her chest.

Lily laughs. "That's good," she says, reaching out to twist a lock of Mary's brown hair around her fingers.

"Hmm?" Mary asks, distracted by the sight.

"Yeah," Lily smiles. "Since, you know, I like you too."

She winks, cheeks just the barest hint of red, and Mary is gone. Lily looks like an angel, like an otherworldly apparition, skin practically glowing in Mary's eyes.

"Good," Mary somehow manages to say. "That's good. Kiss me again?" she blurts out.

Lily laughs - it may be Mary's favorite sound in the world right now - but she does kiss Mary again.

And again, and again.


End file.
